Fired Bill Carmody: We're fucked

Sunday, February 13, 2011

We're fucked

that's as succinctly as i can sum it up. all the positive (or at not disastrous) vibes from two previous Saturdays are long forgotten. i was certainly frustrated by the collapse at the end of the Michigan game, but today's effort was so much more pathetic. it was something we've seen before from BC's crew, and i'm not even sure if it's a word: noncompetitiveness. can you believe that the Penn State seniors have never lost to Northwestern? the Wildcats are single-handedly letting Ed DeChellis keep his job. (of course, DeChellis has those five NIT wins in 2009. something BC can't sniff.)

nothing good can happen from the rest of this season. the trip to Madison will obviously be a massacre, and the rest of the games were considered virtual locks in January, but now i'll be shocked if NU wins more than they lose.

this is the weakest Big Ten we've seen in quite some time. do you realize that the twin dumpster fires of Illinois and Sparty are tied for fourth place?!? at this point no one would be surprised if only three teams made the tourney. the sorry state of the league only reinforces NU's lost opportunities this season. there were a lot of wins for the taking in this league, even more than we expected in December. but instead, Bill Carmody sits in 9th place with his supposed Best Team Ever, and finishing in last is a very real possibility. that certainly discredits Lindsey Willhite's defense of BC.

and PLEASE don't give me any BS about Kevin Coble. doesn't the head coach deserve some blame for losing his second-best player on the eve of the school's most important season?

when i started FBC over five years ago, my first post included this:

That's all I'm asking. Just the NIT. Beat up on some cupcakes then finish 6-10 in the conference. Play on ESPN once or twice a year. I don't have high expectations. Just stop sucking so much.

based on that, i suppose the program has met my then-so-very-low expectations. remarkably NU finished that season with a 6-10 conference record (although they lost 31 of the next 34 Big Ten games) and they made the NIT in 2010 and 2009. but fuck that, Northwestern can do better. Fitz has shown us that. but it remains clear to me that Northwestern can't do better with Bill Carmody in charge.


Blogger Joseph said...

We deserve so much better than what we are getting. Our school needs a coach who is a strong recruiter. I've wanted Todd Bozeman since you started this blog and I still do. He's taken Morgan State to the tourney 2 years in a row, and he has cleaned up his image. I wish the Mike Greenbergs & Mike Wilbon's would step up and become more vocal about the issue. Keep up the good work

2/14/11, 11:07 AM  
Blogger Fire Bill Carmody said...

i don't think the NU administration would ever touch a guy with that kind of background, but i appreciate the creativity. the one thing i've never been sure of is the right choice for Carmody's successor.

2/14/11, 3:26 PM  
Blogger AC said...

AC got the bat signal the other week, and he apologizes for the delay, but there just really isn't anything to say that he hasn't said a hundred fucking times already (just go back and read the archives or search this site for terms like "Carshitty," donkey balls," and "Carshitty sucks donkey balls"). But shit who would have predicted that "the best team NU has ever had" (and excuse AC as he punches himself in nuts over that one) would finish below .500 in the Big Ten and be just a nut hair out of the cellar? Oh that's right, every fucking sentient being on the fucking planet (so that rules out 3/4 of the people on that dickbag Wildcat Report (shout out to Louie V.) and apparently Jim Phillips (and great job on that contract extension Jimbo, really, what's next, convincing Alok Choudary to use Arthur Butz on the NU electrical engineering recruiting materials? Come for the circuits, stay for the Nazis.)).

For fucksake we have an 11 YEAR TRACK RECORD on Carshitty that shows the guy sucks at coaching basketball. Did people think all of a sudden the Princeton no-offense (which as always, AC finds very offensive) was going to work or that little Juice Thompson would be able to lock down 7-footers as the bottom man on the gimmick 1-3-1 defense? No really? WTF? Tell AC he is dreaming and that someone at NU didn't really give this assclown Carshitty an extension? Ugh.

But AC has been quiet this year as the fan boys who lake the posts finally come around to the shitstain that is Bill Car-no-win-dy's coaching. Of course, AC can already hear the excuses for this whiny petulant stubborn abortion of a basketball coach (and AC apologizes to abortions everywhere for that comparison):

1. We didn't have Coble: And you know why we didn't? Because Car-no-win-dy is a fuckbag and Coble decided he simply would rather not play than have to play for a dickshit. What other team has their best player just quit? And Carshitty sucked the life out of him so badly that he didn't even want to transfer. So well done Bill, and good on you for having such a deep bench to make up for your shittery.

2. Shurna was hurt: You know what else was hurt? AC's fucking nuts from having punched them in after watching Carshitty's gimmickery year after year after long fucking year, but did AC make excuses? No, he still watched the games even with his black and blue throbbing scrotum. Anyway, per the final point from point 1, that is why YOU NEED TO RECRUIT MORE THAN ONE GOOD PLAYER. In year 11 of the Carshitty error, NU's bench is as deep as Paris Hilton (her brain that is, not her vagina, because that is really fucking deep), so good on you Bill for selling your fucking program. Maybe your 12th recruiting class will be the answer, it's the "hope lightning strikes" approach, which is better than the "send Carshitty out on the road" approach AC guesses.

3. You can't win at NU: Maybe you can't, shit AC doesn't know, but he knows for sure Car-no-win-dy can't win at NU so um, perhaps we should try something fucking different? If AC were building a boat in 1913, you know who he wouldn't have hired? The guys who built the fucking Titanic even if they had a great reputation for the shit they built before that, and using that same roundabout logic AC would have hired someone else to coach NU about 7 fucking years ago. This assclown has had more chances the Charlie Sheen and he has blown every one of them (where as Charlie Sheen is usually the one getting blown by everyone).

2/15/11, 11:24 AM  
Blogger AC said...

4. But he's a good technician: Ok, AC has broken down the fallacy of the gimmick Princeton offense (which hasn't worked at any school anywhere except for Princeton and Georgetown, but only when Georgetown had the athletes to bail them out after passing the ball in a jerk circle at the top of the key for 33 seconds) and the 1-3-1 defense which only works on opponents who lost the game film in the mail (here's a quick quiz: How many other teams use the 1-3-1 defense? Answer: None, BECAUSE IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK. College basketball coaches are like fucking lemmings and will imitate anything to be successful, well guess what isn't being imitated?).

Anyway, the final play against OSU should be the deciding piece of evidence once and for all for the suck that is Carshitty. Down by 1, a couple of seconds left, and this great logician tells his players: "ok, our best chance of winning this is setting up the half court heave." No really, instead of chucking the ball down court and hoping for a catch to yield a closer shot (ala Laettner and COMMON FUCKING SENSE), this assclown drew up a play to pass the ball to Drew Crawford on the BACKCOURT FOUL LINE, dribble to half court, and launch a three. UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE. AC has taint hair that would draw up a better play, especially against the NUMBER ONE TEAM IN THE FUCKING COUNTRY. UGH.

Look AC doesn't give a fuck whom they hire. Fuck give Tommy Ammaker a second chance in the Big Ten, exhume Bobby Knight and let him see what he can do, fuck just hire Shelly Long and tell her she can bang whomever she wants in the showers (urban legend) between halves as long as she can just recruit some fucking players.

The whole Carshitty experience is just sorry at this point. And the person AC feels most sorry for is Juice Thompson because that little guy plays his ass off every game (and all 40 minutes of every game because in 4 years Carshitty has failed to recruit another PG which is one reason why NU fades down the stretch and will go defeated in the Big Ten next year when Juice leaves, but whatever). In fact, for senior night AC proposes NU fans wear neck braces and bring spit cups in honor of Juice Thompson who has been skullfucked as the bottom man on the 1-3-1 gimmick no-defense for 4 long years now.

And when the above excuses come out, how about throwing this one back: NU has the easiest big ten schedule this year as they they play the top two teams (OSU and Purdue) only once. It was all lined up for Carshitty, but as usual, he choked on it like a fluff girl on the set of a Peter North movie.

Shit, AC really doesn't know what to say anymore other than HE FUCKING TOLD YOU SO.

Fuck Carmody.


2/15/11, 11:27 AM  
Blogger Scott Gillard said...

AC is back. Hell yea. I think this is the first time he talked in the third person about himself as well. We needed you back, times are desperate.

2/15/11, 4:56 PM  

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